


The sun and the moon

by chameleon_soul



Category: Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 09:30:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chameleon_soul/pseuds/chameleon_soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Je suis la lune.  La lune qui brille grâce à ta lumière.  La lune poursuit le soleil, mais le soleil ne doit pas poursuivre la lune …"  Some things aren't meant to be.  Shusei knows this, but it doesn't stop his feelings for a certain loudmouthed blond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The sun and the moon

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters.
> 
> Pairings: hinting towards Shusei X Hotsuma

He was in love.  He couldn’t deny it.  Hotsuma had slowly crept into his heart and taken over.  Every breath he took, every beat of his heart, every action he did … it was all for his hot headed partner.

 

Shusei sighed as he gazed out of the window of his classroom with his left hand supporting his head.

 

Hotsuma had always said he was amazing and fantastic and that the blond found himself so lucky that Shusei wanted to be friends with him, but to him … To him it was the other way around.  Hotsuma was the one to admire.  His fierceness.  His loyalty.  His joi de vivre.  In comparison to Hotsuma Shusei felt as if he was a mere shadow while Hotsuma was the radiating sun.  Yes, Hotsuma was the sun and he was the moon that got its light from the rays of the sun.  No, he himself was nothing much to write home about.  His parents had known this from an early age, only Hotsuma seemed death set on being blind for that huge fact of life.

 

Shusei’s eyes drifted to the sport field where Hotsuma’s class was currently doing PE.  They were doing some kind of tag game with a ball and someone had just tagged Yuki, making Hotsuma retaliate with a fierce passion and a ball throw Shusei wouldn’t have wanted to be on the receiving end off.

 

Shusei’s eyes drifted from Hotsuma’s energetic form to Yuki.  The boy had been with them now for a few weeks and although Hotsuma denied it with tooth and nail, his partner was warming up to Yuki.  At moments Shusei even suspected that there was even more between Yuki and Hotsuma and it made his heart clench painfully.

 

He knew he had no chance with Hotsuma.  He was a boy and Hotsuma had never given any indication he was into boys but that could very well chance through Yuki.  Yuki, the reincarnated boy who had been a girl in their previous life and had even captured in a strange way Hotsuma’s heart back then. 

 

True, they were all programmed to like Yuki, but Shusei couldn’t help but feel like Hotsuma’s feelings ran deeper than the mere programming.  And it made him wonder not for the first time what kind of relationship he and Hotsuma had shared in their previous lives.  Had they been close?  Had there been something between them?  Was that what made his heart ache?  The loss of something that once was there?

 

A shrill sound floated over, the PE teacher having blown on his whistle and indicating class was over.  Hotsuma jogged over to where Yuki was sitting on the bench.  He exchanged a few words with the sitting boy and then extended his hand to help Yuki up.  Together they started for the gym building.

 

Suddenly Hotsuma looked up as if he had sensed Shusei staring at him.  A huge grin appeared on his face and he gave a cheerful wave which Shusei answered with a smaller wave of his own lest he’d be caught by his own teacher.

 

Shusei averted his eyes from the scene below and redirected his gaze to the blackboard.  His mind however was still set on his blond partner.

 

He wondered what Hotsuma would do if he learned the truth and knew Shusei had betrayed their friendship by falling for him.  Would he still come to Shusei’s room to gaze at the stars together with him?  Would he still sneak into Shusei’s bed and snuggle down into it, not allowing to be budged a single inch?  Or would he call Shusei a freak and start avoiding him?

 

At times it amazed Shusei that Hotsuma still didn’t have a clue about what he felt for his blond partner.  He had dropped more than enough hints, trying to get an idea about how Hotsuma would react to a real love declaration, but until now Hotsuma had always thought Shusei had been yanking his chain and hadn’t been serious.

 

Shusei sighed mentally. 

 

For being so close to each other, Hotsuma truly had a thick head.  Okay, maybe he wasn’t exactly fair there as he wasn’t exactly the easiest person to read.  He hid everything behind a wall and mask and more than not Hotsuma did try to weasel out of him what was bothering him only to have Shusei chicken out and not daring to tell Hotsuma the truth.  But did Hotsuma truly need the power of clairvoyance or Tsukumo and Toko’s power to get a hint? 

 

Yes, he didn’t doubt a single moment that the siblings knew about his little secret.  With their Ears of God power they probably always picked up on the fact how his heart started to beat harder each time Hotsuma entered the room or approached him.  He was just glad they had been keeping it to themselves so far.

 

Shusei’s eyes strayed back to the world outside the classroom, just in time to see the gym door open and Hotsuma and Yuki step outside.  Yuki was telling Hotsuma something animatedly and Hotsuma was patiently listening whilst carrying both their gym bags.

 

Shusei’s heart gave a twinge.  He couldn’t help it.  Each time he saw Hotsuma and Yuki this close together, each time Hotsuma complained to him about Yuki but in such a way that it was clear that Hotsuma in fact really didn’t mind having Yuki near, Shusei felt jealous and then he felt bad.  Yuki hadn’t asked to be the one for Hotsuma.  To be the one who would heal Hotsuma and would allow Hotsuma to finally be able to move forward.  And Hotsuma at the same time hadn’t asked Shusei to develop a crush on him.  But it didn’t make things easier. 

 

This knowledge didn’t help Shusei during his Yuki talks with Hotsuma.  Nor did it help him to give good advice to Hotsuma concerning Yuki.  He knew he had to let Hotsuma go.  That clinging on to his blond partner so desperately was egoistical and only hurt Hotsuma, but … but he wasn’t ready yet.  He couldn’t let Hotsuma go.  Not yet.  He needed him.  He couldn’t live without him and he wasn’t ready yet to say goodbye.  And he knew that what he did wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t help it.  Just for a bit longer … just for a few days longer did he want to be able to bask in Hotsuma’s warmth and then … and then would he say his goodbyes and no longer stand in Hotsuma’s way.  Cause all that mattered to him was that Hotsuma was happy; even if that meant that he had to let Hotsuma go.

 

After all, the sun and the moon never could be together ...

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 THE END


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